Here is the second way we can answer Her back. (If you want to read the rest in the series they’re all listed here – most recent first.)
We listen because she speaks the truth. BUT… it’s not the whole truth
She loves to embellish the truth
I shout at my kids and She says, “you are a terrible, abusive mother. You’ve broken your children now.”
The truth is that I’m an imperfect mother – She’s right! But I am neither terrible nor abusive and I haven’t broken my children.
She loves to interpret the truth
I leave the hairdressers and notice one of the stylists giving a wry smile as I leave. She says, “I bet they were smirking at you. It’s probably because you didn’t tip/look stupid/talked about tattoos”.
The truth is that someone smiled a little weirdly – She’s right! Everything else is Her slightly manic interpretation. Of course, She comes to these conclusions with no evidence.
She loves to generalise the truth
I experience awkwardness in a friendship. She says, “well, this relationship is really difficult. Maybe no-one likes you. Maybe you can’t trust anyone.”
The truth is that I may be going through a tough time with a friend – She’s right! But this truth doesn’t jeopardise every relationship ever!
The whole orange is better than half. The whole pizza is better than half. The whole book is better than half.
The whole truth is better than half.
Half a car isn’t a car. Half a ball isn’t a ball. Half a £20 note isn’t a £20 note – it’s not even a tenner.
Half a truth isn’t the truth.
Her words of truth are lies. The problem with half-truths is that they are hard to spot and easy to believe.
How can we detect her lies?
When you hear her voice ask:
- What is the whole truth here? – Can you tease out the grain of truth from the great big barn-ful of lies?
- Where is the evidence for me to believe this? Would Her accusation hold up in court?
- What would a friend say to me about this?
These lie-detecting questions have been tweaked from some CBT I’ve had recently. I found it exceptionally helpful and I’m super grateful for the NHS.
What do you think?
- Can you think of other ways She bends the truth?
- Can you remember a recent example of Her speaking half-truths to you?
- What specific lies do you need to begin to ignore?
- What truth can you speak to yourself instead?
- What truth does God want you to hear, know and believe about him and yourself today?
- Do you find yourself talking about weird things at the hairdresser’s?!