I have the lucky joy of being terribly emotional but not terribly eloquent. In practice this means I may be cross and weepy at the same time but unable to gather the words to explain why. So I’ll say, “I’m feeling a lot of feelings” and hope that explains everything – or at least enough. (At this point feel free to break off and pray for poor Dave).
Recently I’ve been feeling a lot of feelings. I’m up and down – plenty of up, with moments of wheeeeeeeee as I dip down. It’s not quite as fun as it sounds.
When I feel low I am a horrid mum and a sour wife. I tut and sigh my way through days and any need my family has is just too needy.
Part of me thinks “don’t tell the people who read this blog all this – don’t be this vulnerable. Don’t be broken”. Because it’s easier when people aren’t messy isn’t it? We have enough mess of our own to deal with without having to see other peoples’. But another part of me wants you to know – so that when I share something good or a moment where I’ve behaved ‘like a good mother might’ it’s not because I love myself, it’s because I’m relieved.
I like twitter and Jenni Osborne (@JHOsborne) has blogged about her experience of tweeting three things she is thankful for each day – because gratitude is proven to have a positive effect on our mental and emotional health. I love the idea and I’m going to start tweeting along. The hashtag is #3goodthings if you fancy joining in! I’m @alicecrumbs if you want to follow me.
I think thankfulness reminds us we have a good God – even when we struggle to find joy.
Today’s three good things:
- Flowers from Dave.
- One of my closest friends hugging me and telling me she loves me.
- Seeing my Dad’s amazing new blog ‘one day like this’ – and feeling excited, inspired and enchanted at the prospect of seeing a new picture by him each day. I’d follow along if I were you – you can say ‘I was there when it all began’! His work is always beautiful – go and see.
What are your three good things today? Tell me in the comments.
P.S. Don’t worry! I’ve chatted to my GP, all is fine and all will be well. I’m fairly accustomed to walking this ‘almost-but-not-quite depressed’ line and I know life goes on.