I am the Duchess of Doubt. Much of the time I live with a whisper which, almost too quietly to hear, queries every certainty. It’s the whisper that says, “you know, this is probably all complete rubbish”. Somehow doubt and assurance cohabit in my mind.
But doubt is a downer. There are times that I feel pretty sad and worn low because of the emotional effect of doubt.
As I’ve said previously, one of my hopes for the year is to address some of the questions that most regularly cause me to doubt. My hope is that I’ll equip myself with a few choice words to say in reply to that nagging voice of uncertainty.
In the process of looking for good answers I’ve come across a few things I’ve found useful on the topic of doubt.
- Thanks to my friend Rich for suggesting this video of Gary Habermas talking about different types of doubt. I love what he says about various people in the Bible who doubted. It’s 29 minutes long, which sounds like ages but with a cup of tea in hand, listening to the great and encouraging stuff he says, the time flies.
- This very recent article on the gospel coalition blog is pitched at helping others who doubt.
- I really appreciate the tremendous amounts of good and accessible resources on the Fervr site. They have just begun a little series on doubt and you can read the first one here.
- In the Autumn I went to a good seminar on ‘glorifying God in the midst of doubt’ by Jo McKenzie – you can find it and listen here.
I’m not going to go in to loads of detail about the substance of my doubts or attempt to blog my way through my answers, because sometimes other people’s questions can be unhelpful or distracting. But I did want to acknowledge my doubt rather than embarrasedly hide it. It seems that half the battle of doubt is feeling like the only one and therefore feeling like a fraud amongst all the non-doubters. I am confident I am a Christian I think Jesus is excellent – facing my doubt has given me a boost after feeling worried and ground down.
I don’t love doubting. In fact, I’d prefer it to go away forever. But with some good new resources out there and what seems to be a refreshing new openness in addressing the issue, I feel like if ever there was a good time to doubt, it’s now!
Dan can’t stop drawing rainbows. There is hope everywhere I turn.
Oh, Alice lovely, if you are the duchess I am your countess friend! I go through periods of just shelving it, and times when I just want the answers. Those last three words could have been in capitals, I do feel like shouting sometimes!;)
For me, the killers are Dawkins et al, telling me I am intellectually incompetent for believing, I dismiss their shrill scorn, but it chips away. I will be looking at your links and telling myself that if we could prove it all, there would be no room for faith or choice, and that surely it would be a greater effort of faith to be an athiest.
One day Alice, we are going to meet up and have one mighty old chinwag – I say tea and cake in Hebden Bridge?! We’ll put the world to rights! Bxxx
Alice, honest as always, making it real.
I’ve been reading Driscoll’s Vintage Jesus, and what Christ actually accomplished on the Cross. Pretty strong reading, but it brought home to me the sacrifice again. Stick close to the truth, it’s tough when you feel a little lost and questioning. Remember faith of a mustard seed will get you through. Do some cloud watching. Clouds made me smile yesterday – how cool is that?
Oh, and those Rainbows of Dan’s? Write ‘It is Finished’ under one and hang it up somewhere. x
Sorry if this is totally useless, sending lovely thoughts x
By very strange coincidence our friend Tracey has blogged today about doubt: http://one-hand-clapping.blogspot.com/2012/01/on-rumsfeld-unlikely-beasts-and-blue.html. In fact it’s the second in a series. I find learning how people manage to co-exist with their doubt without compromising honesty is very inspiring and strangely encouraging. Loving Dan’s rainbows. xx
Thank you, thank you.
I think as soon as you write, ‘I am doubting’, you are in a safer place than your silence, scary though it is to say it.
I’d love to hear your doubts and questions and your steps to answering them.
And your line about Dan made me cry.
Much love.
Thanks for your honesty once again Alice. I have no wise words but love that you acknowledge that you have them. I think that’s the most challenging step really- I guess getting answers is also challenging but you know what I mean
Ooh I’m sorry I’m so slow in writing this, but your comments have been incredibly good for me – it’s very restorative to know that you’re not alone, that people get it and to have such generosity in love and support.
So, you’re all lovely and I would like to hug you! Xxx