Where’s your wedding dress?

Up in the loft? In a drawer under the bed? In your wardrobe? At your parents’ house? Can’t remember?

When will you wear it next?

Maybe you’ve kept it because you can’t wait for the day your daughter plays dressing up and pretends to be a bride. Maybe you take it out every now and then just to remember – just feeling the fabric makes memories of that wonderful day rush back into your heart and mind. Maybe you try it on once in a while, just to see if you still can. Maybe it’s in the wardrobe because it was just so expensive, it has earned its right to be there!

When will you wear it next?

I bet you remember buying it! I imagine you can remember trying it on and thinking, “yes – I’ve found it!”. I wonder if you remember how much it cost? Was there one you wished you could have, but it was too expensive so you settled for the next best thing?

When will you wear it next?

I bet you remember how you felt on your wedding day. How your dress made the difference (for better or worse!) and how it was the talking point of the day. Never in all your life have so many people told you  look lovely, beautiful, wonderful, fabulous, incredible.

When will you wear it next?

Who’d have thought a dress, a bunch of material, could make such a difference. Who’d have known that a dress could have such an affect on your feelings.

Come on, really – When will you wear it next?

Listen to a friend’s experience when looking for a dress in Senegal:

When I was getting married I found the dresses were the same price-range as the UK and not nearly as nice. There was nowhere to rent a dress nearby. We found some in the capital, the other side of the country but that would cost £250 a day, so was impossible for me.

Sounds frustrating, doesn’t it? It also sounds entirely unjust that people who already have very little would be expected to pay as much as we do for our dresses in the UK. Scandalous.

Bethan goes on to say, “there is a lot of pressure on people to spend beyond their means to deliver a day to ‘show off their wealth’ and so many end up in debt. Rather like in the UK.”

Bethan and I grew up in the same town and the same church. Now Bethan and her husband Tenebou run a medical clinic which is part of the African Revival Mission (ARM-Senegal). Their aim is: “to make disciples for Jesus in the towns and villages of Senegal and beyond. We are committed to the training and encouraging of all believers to reach their full potential for God and to the planting of missionary sending churches.”

As well as providing medical care, the mission cares for orphans and for those who need a safe-haven after experiencing rejection and persecution from their families because of their faith. They also have a Bible school and various church plants. You can probably guess which one is Bethan (!) and Tenebou is to the right of her.

I’ve been particularly inspired by their work with the Talibe boys. Boys as young as my tiny Dan (aged 3) are sent away by their families and given to Marabouts who are Muslim leaders. They are expected to receive instruction in Islam. The reality is that each morning, these boys are sent out on their own with begging bowls. They aren’t shown family love or care and inevitably become poorer and more troublesome as time goes on. The mission provides these boys with education, medical care, food, football(!), and training in skills like welding. It also gives them time to learn about Jesus.

What’s all this got to do with wedding dresses?!

Well, Bethan is helping to set up a wedding dress boutique in Ziguinchor. The aim of this is firstly, that it will provide beautiful dresses at affordable rental prices for local women – enabling them to have a special wedding day without getting into severe financial difficulty. Secondly, the money made in the boutique will go to support other projects in the mission – including raising funds to send out Senegalese missionaries. Thirdly, it offers a means by which the mission can become more self-sufficient; relying less on financial help from overseas and more on its own resources.

So I want to make a big request. If you’re not planning on wearing your wedding dress anytime soon, would you give some real thought to donating it to the boutique?

Do you want to know my thoughts when I first heard this?
“Oh, but it’s so special, I want to be able to show my children.”
“I love my dress.”
“Someone else can give their dress. This one’s mine.”

But the reality is that my dress had been hidden away for nearly eight years. I’ve never once needed it in that time.
The reality is that although my children might wonder what my dress was like, they would only look at it once or twice.
The reality is that someone else could have another day of joy from wearing that dress.
The reality is that it could become part of their wedding story.
The reality is that dress could be the start of someone else’s married life… The reality is that dress could make the difference between financial security and poverty.

At the moment, Bethan and Tenebou are back in the UK as they’re expecting their first child in May! They’re heading back to Senegal at the end of June and would love to be taking some dresses with them! Or, if it’s going to take a while for you to find your dress and decide, you can  post your dress later (to a UK address) and when friends or family visit they’ll take them.

They would also make great use of bridesmaid dresses, evening gowns, men’s suits (they just have one!), page boy outfits and accessories. There is a big need for them all!

If you want to see more about the various projects, the mission has a website with some great information.

If you’re interested in donating a dress or another item please either get in touch with me by email or leave a comment asking for more information and I’ll get in touch with Bethan’s contact details. Alternatively you can contact Bethan directly: tensandbeth@yahoo.fr. Also, if you would like to be signed up for their news and prayer letter, let me know in the comments and I’ll make sure you get on the email list.

I think it’s a great way of making a solid difference. I have to admit I nearly wept when I was sealing the postage box and telling Dan that I was sending my wedding dress to Africa. I kept telling myself “it’s just a dress, it’s just a dress!”.

But it’s not just a dress. In that box, sewn in with each sequin and bead is all the joy, excitement and thrill of a precious wedding day and a wonderful marriage beyond it. I pray that someone else enjoys each of those gifts along with that beautiful dress.